Whats this feeling?

It hurts really bad... damn it. How... I feel pain all over me. I need time to take a step back, and search for myself once again. What am I doing? F this la it hurts like hell. Sometimes the feeling hurts so bad it gets numb and I don't feel it but yet after awhile it hurts way much more again. Bahh.... Need distractions to keep me sane now.